I want to tell the world how difficult it is to keep my clothes on. As my swollen, bloated belly grows seventeen grape-sized follicles, I am expanding out of my normal wardrobe. Although yesterday I deemed this "knit pants week," I have quickly changed that to "no waist-band week."
Yesterday, driven to madness by 3:00 p.m. in my knit pants with elastic waistband, I could no longer avoid stripping, so I left work, went home, and changed into my pyjamas. I fell into bed and was awakened when my dinner guest and long-time friend Jeremy knocked on the front door. We had chips and dip and when James came home from work, he was surprised, but not really, to find his wife entertaining in her pyjamas.
It is now 3:00 p.m. today. Will I be able to survive the day? Being puffy is sooo aggravating! I want a belly-ectomy. Or to change my bloated belly into a pregnant belly. I promise I wouldn't complain.