I am three dozen years old, as of Sunday. I woke up sad because I was babyless at this late age.
Within a week I'll be taking the pregnancy test to see if this round of IVF worked. Having my blood drawn in the morning and waiting until the evening to hear the news is a difficult experience. My dear sister-in-law, Erin, was in charge of me last time, and fed me with ice cream and trips to the craft supply store to keep me distracted. That was so nice of her and so important for me! This time around I'll be going to work, which is not as sweet or as fun, but has a nice firm structure to it. (So to speak).
And here is where we pull the rug out from under you. We intend NOT to post our results here on our blog. Why?
Because if it's positive, we will have entered the realm of early pregnancy. With IVF pregnancies the statistics show a higher rate of miscarriage and complications. (They suspect this is partly related to the fact that many normal women have miscarriages without knowing they were ever pregnant -- so those aren't included in the miscarriage stats). My wonderful husband, who has extraordinary flexibility and tolerance for me in all things, and has exhibited great patience with everything I write about him on the Internet, pointed out that maybe newly pregnant women keep their pregnancy a secret for the first 12 weeks for a reason. Maybe we should try it. Maybe we would not want to tell everybody in the whole world about this particular experience.
If the pregnancy test were negative, I'd be happy to tell you. But if you expect to hear from me when it's negative and hear silence when it's positive, well, that's not a very good system for keeping a secret.
So you can expect to hear general pontifications from me on this blog, but not the results. We'll tell you soon enough.
In the meantime, I wanted to let everyone know that I've really appreciated your birthday thoughts and greetings. I've been sleeping a lot and haven't gotten to call anyone back. My normal email account has also been down recently, but if you'd like to email me, you can find me at email@example.com.