While we were waiting to find out if we were pregnant, we took a trip to Rhode Island with my in-laws. I spent a lot of the week under the influence of my continuing IVF shots, sleeping. I also came home a day early, skipping James's drive with his parents back to their house in New York State.
That Monday, June 30, when I was back home alone, I went to the doctor in the early morning for the pregnancy test. They took my blood and I went home and waited. That last day of the Two Week Wait is terrible. There is no way to distract yourself from the anxiety. I'd done been through this wait twice before and it had ended badly both times. I didn't expect this time to be different, but I did hold out that infernal hope. You know, the thing that keeps you hurting because you just can't stop caring, no matter how effective your pessimism.
I expected the phone call around 3:00 or 4:00 that afternoon, because that was the time slot the nurse had for calling patients. But at about 11:30 a.m. my cell phone rang. Caller ID told me it was the specialized pharmacy where I got my IVF drugs. I picked up.
"Ms. Bailey, this is Val at the pharmacy. We were just calling to see when you would like to pick up your Endometrin." Boy, was I surprised. I never heard of Endometrin.
"When did you get this prescription?" I asked. Val said they'd received the prescription from my nurse -- and she said the right name -- earlier that morning.
"Is Endometrin the kind of thing one might take if one were pregnant?" I inquired.
"Yes?" she answered tentatively, wondering why I was asking.
"Holy shit," I said.
"You're the first person to tell me I'm pregnant. I've been trying for over two years. This is what I've wanted my whole life."
Val got a little worried. "Oh... good!... Um, you might want to call your nurse to confirm, just in case."
Yeah, no kidding. I told her I'd call her back when I sorted this whole thing out. Then I hung up the phone and started the "could this be true" internal dialogue with myself.
On the plus side, when I'd found out I wasn't pregnant the first two times, the nurse told me to "discontinue the medications." There was never an instruction to take something new. That seemed to indicate that I'd be getting a new and different result. Of course, all the pharmacist knew was that she'd gotten a faxed prescription. She didn't actually know my test results, and the person who did -- the nurse -- was the one who could tell me for sure. What if it was a mistake?
I tended to think it wasn't a mistake.
At 1:00 I picked up James from the airport. Instead of popping the trunk and letting him put his suitcase in himself before he got in the passenger seat, I got out to greet him behind the car.
"Hi, Daddy," I said. He smiled, cooed, and then his face changed. He stopped. His eyes got big. They filled up with "are you saying what I think you're saying?" I nodded.
And then we hugged and kissed and laughed and laughed and laughed, right there in the pick-up lane. I dare say we loitered in an area of the airport where they like to keep the traffic flowing. We did the happy dance. We hugged again and laughed laughed laughed.
Later he thought it was prudent to call the nurse, just to be sure. When she didn't pick up, he assured me that I could call the front desk and have her paged. He'd never been aware of a more pressing emergency situation. When we finally found her, she confirmed that it was true: I was pregnant!
In fact, I was "very pregnant." The pregnancy blood test measures the hormone hCG in the system. A positive test is one that comes up with a score of 5 or more. I had a score of something like 1,620. That's greater than 5. That's a whole lot of hormones is what that is. Later I'd find out that it actually represented two concurrent pregnancies in my one body. Twins.
I called the pharmacist that afternoon and told her we'd be by to pick up the Endometrin, which turned out to be the new progesterone supplement that I'd be taking for the first 10 weeks. When we got there, I asked for Val and she came to the half-door window. We screamed and hugged. She gave me a book on motherhood, a picture book with cute photos of animals. I told her I'd never forget her my whole entire life. She made me promise to send her a picture of the baby when it was born. Heck, yeah! I almost asked her to be the Godmother. (Oh, did I mention I'd never met Val before?)
From that moment on, everything was different. Thus began my pregnancy. And I've been confused and giddy ever since. It's been a blessing.